As I reflect back over the years, oh how things have changed! Yes, change for the greater good is and has been great…and will continue to be. But some changes have greatly crippled, damaged, and hindered in a traumatic way! We are no longer relationally connected…! We have become a people of transactions! We are transactional driven not relational! Yes, we are struggling and suffering in many entities of life because of the lost art of relationships!
I do believe there will be many who read this passage and will be able to recall to remembrance along with me, the days past when all we encountered and experienced in our communities and families was relational! Although, there was the existence of some negative actions and energy, but for the most part the days of old were relationally enthralled!
As I take a view through the lens of the past…I see men and women having deep, fun-filled and informative conversations as they water their grass in the evenings; sitting on the front porch, at the filling station or on the ditch bank chatting, collaborating, or just shooting the breeze…without incident! It was relational! I can see a group of women sitting outside talking, planning and complaining with a child between their legs combing or plaiting their hair! At school, your teacher and principal knew your parents and could freely chastise you…the adults in the neighborhood could chastise you…it was relational. You had to speak when you entered the room…you responded with yes ma’am…yes sir, no ma’am…no sir or at least a yes or no! We cared for each other! It was relational! If one family had…it made sure the neighborhood had! It was relational! For the most part, we were safe and protected by the surrounding village! No one could come in the neighborhood and get away with doing wrong…! As the saying went: “you were told on”! It was relational!
I’m glancing through the past lens of the church! The mother of the church was highly esteemed! The other sisters of the church walked together, worked together taking on their rightful duty and carrying it out to completion with honor! Men and women repaired and beautified the church building inside and out! The pastor even worked..,! It was relational! The pastor took time to freely greet the people…visit the homes of the people, to care for the people…to intentionally get to know the people…to love the people! It was relational!
I think of the actions of my dad! His every fiber of being was relational! Every weekend we visited family from Fort Lauderdale to Miami…if he was off…we were visiting with family Saturday or Sunday afternoons, and then several trips to Saint Pete and Georgia throughout the year! When he could no longer travel, he called his siblings and relatives every at least once a week! He was relational! He and other fathers drove the children where they needed to be. He shared from his farm with the neighborhood and family near and far. He cared for the sick and shut-in near and far! There wasn’t a broken automobile that he and/or others didn’t repair! There was no lack in the inner village…everyone looked out for each other…there may have been inner fights from time to time…but it was short lived and the relations continued! It all was relational! There was a time when the village would not just hear you...but sincerely and truly hear, listen, and attempt to understand! Although, all wasn't always properly handled...It Was Relational! The village no longer exists...gossip, personal greed, the ongoing cycle of the broken...breaking, and vindictiveness have consumed the listening ears and forced blinders over eyes...causing a multitude to be scattered and wondering in the wilderness! There are cries coming from the wilderness...Is anyone listening...does everybody care...?
I could go on and on and on…but I think you get it! For the most part, all of what we do now is predetermined and quite often self-serving transactional! We look to gain be any means necessary...go along to get along...form preconceptions and wrongly judge…neighborhoods destroyed...churches dismantling, dysfunctional, and dilapidated…people are hurting and suffering…children are uncertain of who and whose they are…not knowing truth or what path to take…all because of the lost art of relationships! We have become a transitional people…nothing relational exists!
Will we as a people ever get back to truly loving and caring for each other? I think of the words of three individuals I respect and admire: “in order to pull you down…I have to stay down…we are connected! So when either goes up, all will go up”; “you have to love the people”; and “…the importance of the ministry of presence”! All of these thoughts and actions are all relational…but have and are continuously dwindling away! Yes, we are in the midst of an epidemic…! We truly don’t have to look far…or wonder for long, where lies the proble…? It’s all due to the “The lost art of relationships! Transactional vs. Relational…! What will we do…? Will we bounce back…will we overcome?
Comments